Arise, Chicken! Chicken, Arise!

He Slimed Me!

The anti-paladin rounded up everyone to go take care of some goblins. Sounded like fun so I went along. Not sure if that was a good idea. There was a whole mess of them along with some weird looking snake things that smelled something horrible. Also this stupid gun doesn’t seem to like alchemical cartridges that much. Keeps misfiring. A bit later we got called out to take care of a snail. A SNAIL. How hard could it be? No one told me it would have 4 clubs on its face. No one told me it would be so big. Luckily I spotted it before it ate us. The anti-paladin got hit pretty hard though. The rest of us not so much, although I found out later that this luck wouldn’t hold for the remainder of the trip. Coming back these stupid floating tentacled things decided I was a juicy target and slimed me with some kind of acid ooze. Painful and gross. I just stayed out of their way after that. Also this freaking huge mutant dog thing decided we looked delicious and decided to have us for dinner. I’m amazed we came out of that one alive. Hopefully I can get enough money to fix this gun soon so it doesn’t misfire as much on me.


Yeah that’s right, A SNAIL, it’s only a snail, just cuz it has 4 clubs on its’ face doesn’t mean you have to shoot it while it slowly slimes towards people. Next time you should just sit back and watch what happens, it didn’t even try to attack you. I mean, it couldn’t even hit a gnome with a shield! You should just let big things with shells club whoever they want, as long as it isn’t you.

He Slimed Me!

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